Liv Ward is a trans comedian based in Te Whanganui-a-Tara, and will perform their show EPIC WAY! I’m Gay? Oui oui faguette™ I LOVE KIM HILL (1999 version) as part of the NZ Comedy Festival from May 20-24 at BATS Theatre.
The first time I heard someone say the word tranny, it came from the mouth of a hideously privileged, cis-het girlie (who genuinely owned a life-sized cardboard cutout of Harry Styles) in my horrific ex-flat. As we stood beside the mushrooms that grew through the mouldy gap in the putrid kitchen linoleum, she asked me to “tranny” (transfer) her $2.03 for the Uber we shared the previous night. I paid her the pūtea and regret it to this day. Initially, not because she used the word tranny, but because it turns out that her family is fucking loaded… like really fucking loaded.
Now, I reflect on this moment and think, how did the word tranny find its way into her mouth? Did she seek it out with her iPhone Pro Max Deluxe Big Fuck Off PhoneTM torchlight? Or did she stumble upon it? In the 2010s, cuck New Zealanders started using the word transphobic slur, tranny, instead of saying transfer. To this day, it makes no sense because it isn’t more syllabically efficient to say tranny as opposed to transfer. You also sound like a sewn-up, simple-minded sack of sausage meat with silicon for brains.
This piece is not to educate you on the history of the word tranny. You can read about that later tonight, before you fall asleep on your Mike Hosking-obsessed, horrific boyfriend's crusty bed sheets. Side note: You should break up with him.
This piece is also not a dedicated summary of the transphobia we ingest every day. You can read about that tomorrow night before you fall asleep next to me in my scarily clean sheets, instead of inside your boyfriend's shrine to hating women.
This piece is to say that in a world of daily horrors perpetrated against trans, intersex, gender non-conforming, takatāpui, and MVPFAFF+ people, we remain graceful, and crack up. That’s why you should support trans comedy at the NZ International Comedy Festival this May. #segue!
We are so lucky to have trans people in the Comedy Fest this year! As noted by local producer, director, and improviser Jennifer O’Sullivan, approximately 5% of the acts in this year's Comedy Fest are trans. This is up 3% from last year. Despite all the shit piss fuckery thrown our way by the far-right, we are still here with our collective pu$$ out.
In my opinion, this increase in trans performers is not a result of the event’s programming, but trans people’s desperate need for attention and over-representation in performance spaces. If there were a separate Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for trans people, attention would be the foundation.
A couple of years ago, I started doing stand-up. My dear friend Lily encouraged me into it because, in her opinion, I needed an outlet. Comedy has given me a way of processing intergenerational mamae by centreing our trans truths.
However, in my opinion, stand-up is not a safe space for trans people. This whakaaro is also supported by fellow trans performers, Lily Catastrophe (she/her) and Mog Connolly (they/them, part of Ginge and Minge). Both Mog and Lily think that there are not a lot of trans people in comedy.
Lily thinks it’s because “we are constantly assessing the risks we are taking on”. Mog mentions that to keep themselves safe in comedy, they do a lot of sketch work as a way to shield their trans identity from the crowd; always maintaining a protective veil between them and the audience.
Transphobia doesn’t happen on its own. Aotearoa pre-colonisation, from what I have heard, was swag e.g. not transphobic, and there were huia. Transphobia is a colonial construct. It never belonged here, and it never will. I’m trying to be patient with cis people as they undo their years of consuming transphobia. I’m trying to be patient because getting pronouns right isn’t the main priority when the world is being cooked by four white men.
But my patience is sometimes as thin as the putrid linoleum of my old flat. A while ago, I had a reviewer in for my show, who then went on to misgender me throughout his review. I’m usually empathetic, but not after I’ve presented an hour-long show to him, which he didn’t have to pay for, about my transness. God rest his soul. He’s not dead, just dead to me.
Representation of trans people in comedy is good but it is not enough. If you want to see stand-up by trans, intersex, gender non-conforming, takatāpui and MVPFAFF+ folks, our comedy institutions must undergo radical transformation. We must address barriers for tāngata whenua, Pacific peoples, and migrant trans people to get into comedy. Things like an accessible artist's living wage and sustainable funding models. And stop asking trans people for free advice! Alternatively white men could stop doing comedy, shut the fuck up, and give trans people of colour their money.
“Where da trannies at?” is a question my best friend Raquel Meihana (he/him) and I constantly ask each other, in response to the lack of visibility of our trans communities. Looking towards the stand-up world, I see that the trannies are not at The Classic Comedy Club, or on well-publicised line-ups. This is because there are no safety nets at these gigs to protect trans whānau.
From what I have observed, it’s very easy for a cis man to rock up to a gig after his big day of tech bro work, tell a cum joke and leave unscathed. Trans people can’t just rock up to a gig without the infrastructure like checking pronouns before the gig, doing whakawhānaungatanga, making sure the venue is transphobe-free (and the line-up too), and after the gig, making sure we get home safe. This is slowly changing thanks to shows like Wellington Comedy Club Rainbow Showcase and Femmes and Thems Comedy at this year’s Comedy Festival, as well as previous shows like Soapbox Open Mics and The Transgender Agender.
Last year, I was the first trans person in the history of the Raw Comedy Quest in Te Whanganui-a-Tara to win. This year two trannies, Jak Darling and Booth the Clown, are nominated for the Billy T Award. Lily and Mog also got numerous nominations and awards at NZ Fringe Festival and Nelson Fringe.
Next year, Lily, Mog, Jak, Booth, and I will roll through the streets collecting trans people to form an unstoppable goopy chewing gum-esque blob of bodies as wide as Lambton Quay. It will colloquially be known as one big trans. After which, we will steamroll the coalition Government. Text me if you wanna come.
It brings me unparalleled nausea to talk about cis people here, but I owe a lot of my success as a comic to the straighties. We are lucky in Te Whanganui-a-Tara to have allies who are championing gender diverse performance, as well as fundraising for our gender affirming healthcare. My biggest thanks, though, goes out to my trans whānau. In particular, the takatāpui community! People like Carmen Rupe, Georgina Beyer, Elizabeth Kerekere, and my bestie Raquel. Thank you for always leading the way.
Many years on from the tranny escapade in my old flat, I still hear the word tranny flying off the lips of people. But now, it is spoken by our trans hapori themselves.
In comedy, trans people are reclaiming our derogatory names, putting a fresh lick of paint on them, and reintroducing them to the world. Through reclaiming transphobic language, we can take control of our collective histories and futures. It feels new. It feels exciting. It feels honest.
I would love to finish this by saying something hopeful, but I seldom feel optimistic about trans futures in Aotearoa. Especially with the online hate we are constantly dodging. I do find a lot of comfort, though, in knowing that if I were ever to rumbux with Brian Tamaki, I would win.
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The NZ International Comedy Festival runs until May 25 in Te Whanganui-a-Tara and Tāmaki Makaurau. Catch these very tranny shows this May (and beyond)! And if anyone rich is reading this (maybe my old flatmate), can you pay for my top surgery? You can keep the tits.
• Bottom Surgery by Lily Catastrophe at BATS Theatre, Te Whanganui-a-Tara from May 13-17 at 9pm
• Delightfool by Jak Darling and Booth the Clown at Fringe Bar, Te Whanganui-a-Tara from May 13-17 at 7pm, at Basement Theatre Tāmaki Makaurau, from May 20-24 at 7pm, and at Little Andromeda Ōtautahi, from July 24-26 at 7pm
• House of Ick by Ginge and Minge at Te Auaha, Te Whanganui-a-Tara from May 14-17 at 9:45pm
• EPIC WAY! I’m Gay? Oui oui faguette™ I LOVE KIM HILL (1999 version) by Liv Ward at BATS Theatre Te Whanganui-a-Tara from May 20-24 at 9pm.
