From Matakana island to Malta and an after-party at Basement theatre, for India-Rose Clavis Kohika and Sam Clavis, getting married meant doing things their way.
High school friends who got together following graduation, after a decade together India (an arts administrator) and Sam (a sound designer, production manager and bassist) knew their relationship was serious, but neither had been big on the idea of making it legal.
“Sam was always indifferent, I had always been the ‘I don’t believe in marriage’ type,” explains India, but they changed their minds. “When I was about 25 I had a family matter that changed my mind almost overnight. Suddenly I realised marriage was something I wanted and something that was important to me, and I wanted to do it with Sam. So we spoke about it and decided it was something we would want to do together someday.”
Even when you know it’s in the stars, the act of proposing can come as a surprise. Theirs happened on Matakana island, where they were celebrating their 10 year anniversary and New Years Eve.
They were playing cards on the beach at sunset when the game was interrupted. “Sam said ‘let’s stand up for a moment’ which confused me because we were on a roll with Uno, but we stood up and then he was down on one knee,” says India.
Her engagement ring, a gold band with diamonds and a platinum-set sapphire, belonged to Sam’s grandmother and dates back to the 1960s. “We celebrated and drank a bit too much champagne, which resulted in me spinning around in pure joy on the beach at midnight after we rang in the New Year, and I was yelling ‘I HAVE TO CALL MY MUM’ even though we’d agreed we’d break the news in the morning.”
The vision
After an island engagement they got married on another one, Malta, on the other side of the world. “Having a modern elopement was a big decision, but felt right to us. We invited our immediate family (parents and siblings), but didn’t want them to feel pressured as travel’s not cheap,” India explains. “We tried to make it clear that they were very welcome, but we’d understand if they couldn’t make it.”
The pair had considered a Vegas elopement, but the Mediterranean’s timeless appeal, a built-in European honeymoon and legal admin swayed them toward Malta.
“We wanted to do our best to marry legally, which we discovered is actually quite difficult when you elope,” explains India. While many opt for a symbolic ceremony abroad and legal paperwork at home, they wanted to do it all at once.
“After lots of research, Malta ticked all the boxes. It was Mediterranean, had so much history, we could marry legally with relative ease (you do still have to do twice the paperwork, mind you), it wasn't going to cost too much compared to other places and it was also somewhere we'd always wanted to visit.”
The pair know they were lucky that their families were not only supportive and understanding, but could be there on the day too. “All our parents made the trip. A few of them have since mentioned it was a good nudge to take long-delayed trips to Europe. It was great to spend some time exploring Malta on holiday with family – holidaying with them is something we’ve realised we don’t do very often as adults!”
Deciding on Mdina, a fortified Medieval city in Malta, the choice of wedding venue and restaurant (both historic buildings) were both critical, and had a strong influence on the wedding’s aesthetic.
Capturing it was an important part of the occasion, especially as only a handful of people could be there. The couple chose Malta-based photographer Olha Ruccya to do the honours, recommended by their wedding planner Natalie Gauci from Esmée Designs.
“Despite saying we like timeless weddings, we’re definitely both susceptible to the current ‘cool, blurry, black and white’ wedding photography trend,” India confesses. “Olha asked if that's what we wanted (with a bit of a laugh), and assured us we’re not the only ones who feel that way! In the end she did well to capture a mix of cleaner, crisp, sharp photos to document the day, as well as more painterly characterful photos in the style we were after – she brought a film camera to capture a few of the latter.”
The venue
Their ceremony and reception dinner both took place at storied locations in Mdina. Built from honey-coloured stone, the buildings were a big part of why the couple wanted to get married in Malta.
Such a cinematic location doesn’t need much frippery. “The decorations we did have were all fairly simple, but carefully considered, hopefully showing a bit of our personality. Mostly it was restricted to choices of florals, seating, invitations and stationary etc, rather than anything substantial,” explains India.
“We’re not big on anything too ostentatious or flashy, but we’re definitely perfectionists (and probably pretentious design snobs), so we wanted everything to be right. Words like ‘classy’ and ‘timeless’ feel quite loaded (is anything really timeless?) but they were definitely what we had in mind.”
The outfits
India wore a gown by London brand House of CB made from ivory duchess satin, tailored by Alter Me in Auckland, with a lace veil she found on Etsy and kitten heels (also ivory satin) from ASOS.
“I have a penchant for pearls, so I wore a baroque pearl bracelet that was gifted to me by my parents for the wedding day as well as a pair of baroque pearl earrings that have been my prized possession for many years. Both pieces are from Meadowlark.”
For Sam the occasion called for a bespoke suit, a green linen two-piece with cream lining, the work of Vinny “The Tailor” Sabe of SABÉ Bespoke House in Epsom. His shoes, brown leather loafers, were picked up in London on the way to Malta. “On Savile Row, but not that fancy!”
India’s wedding look was perfumed with Dark Rum by MALIN+GOETZ and Sam wore Yves Saint Laurent Jazz. To keep things simple – it was an elopement after all – they both did their hair themselves, and India did her own makeup.
The ceremony
Their wedding took place in Medina’s famous Palazzo Falson, a medieval townhouse that dates back to the 13th century. Music was incredibly important to Sam and India, and they spent hours pouring over their favourites and choosing the perfect songs.
“The big three for us were the aisle song, the recessional song, and then the song that played after we’d signed the paperwork,” India explains. “The song I walked down the aisle to was ‘This is the Day’ by The The, then the recessional song was ‘Heaven (Live)’ by Talking Heads, and finally the song that played once we signed our paperwork was ‘Islands in the Stream’ by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.”
India had put a lot of consideration into how she would walk down the aisle, and rather than go it alone she decided to have both her parents with her.
“I remember the feeling of standing on my own for a moment right before walking down the aisle. It was raining but in a sort of romantic, Pride and Prejudice proposal way, rather than an ‘oh no it’s raining on my wedding day’ way,” India says.
“My parents had stepped away for a moment to get ready, so I was standing in the foyer alone, but I could see people outside the venue looking through the glass doors and taking photos and waving excitedly which was so sweet, and I could see Sam’s arm peaking around the corner which made me emotional because I couldn’t wait to see the rest of him. He was so handsome.”
When Sam learned it was going to rain during their outdoors ceremony he realised that he didn’t care in the slightest. “It was such a special day that nothing had a chance of spoiling it. It’s funny, despite all the planning, thought and care that goes into everything, on the day I almost forgot to look at any of it because I was just thinking about the person I love,” Sam says. “When India walked down the aisle. She looked incredible, and all I could think to say when she got to me was ‘wow so you look so beautiful!’.”
The flowers she carried were inspired by an Ensemble favourite: “I’ve never been so enamoured with a bridal bouquet as I was with Chloë Sevigny’s long-stem calla lilies, so that’s exactly what I asked for,” India says. “I also had a piece of handmade lace that I picked up in Burano last year that had a ‘C’ for Clavis on it that our florist wrapped around the stem of the bouquet for me.”
Her wedding ring, gold with laboratory grown diamonds in a platinum setting, was designed by Four Words to match her engagement ring, while Sam went with a simple gold band by Austen & Blake.
Rings on and officially married, after the ceremony the now-married couple took photos around Mdina, and it was still raining. “The train on her wedding dress was soaked in water as soon as we started taking photos,” Sam remembers. “Our fantastic and very obliging photographer was following India around, carrying the train to try and keep it off the ground.”
After the ceremony and photos they walked over to the restaurant they’d chosen for dinner. By that time the train of India’s dress was sopping wet and dirty. “So when we arrived at the restaurant I kicked off my heels and ran through the restaurant barefoot and went into the tiny bathroom to try wring out some water over the sink,” India says. “Our guests hadn’t arrived yet nor had the restaurant opened to the rest of the public, so it was this funny little sweet moment that felt so human amongst all the glamour of the day.”
The reception
Sam and India didn’t have a traditional reception, deciding instead to have dinner with their six guests, all family, at “impeccable” restaurant The Medina.
“It catered to every dietary requirement. Rather than having a set menu, we used their regular à la carte menu, re-printed with some wedding-specific details and without prices, to allow our guests to choose freely,” India says, explaining that The Medina serves a mixture of traditional Maltese dishes alongside food from the Mediterranean and Middle East as a culinary tribute to Malta’s history as a cultural crossroads. “The staff, particularly the maître d’, were exceptionally friendly, warm, and helpful.” There were bottles of champagne going around, and most guests imbibed in some of the restaurant’s cocktails.
The couple had name cards made for the restaurant settings (and chairs at the ceremony) which Natalie had printed locally. “She also sourced a particular green ribbon to tie the stationary together at each place setting. All small touches, but they helped it really feel like our wedding,” India says. “We also had custom handkerchiefs made for our guests as wedding favours. They were a pale blue with a bouquet of our birth flowers (Lily of the Valley for Sam, Poppy for India) and our names and the wedding date embroidered onto them.”
A special moment during the dinner came from India’s father. “My dad gave a beautiful speech largely in te reo Māori during the dinner. Both my dad and I have been getting in touch with that part of our heritage recently, so it was a proud moment to see him stand up there and deliver his speech so well.”
The party
Sam carried India across the threshold when they arrived home, “which felt silly and fun”, and after marrying in Malta, they wanted to do something in Aotearoa too.
The couple both work in the arts, so they chose a location meaningful to them, Basement Theatre, where they celebrated with 30 of their friends and family. “The team was incredible and helped make the night so special.”
Keeping things simple, they put down a tab at the bar and ordered Toto’s pizzas for everyone. “We had a laugh looking at the photos after the event, because we realised we had gathered just about everyone you would need to put a show together in Auckland in one space. Hopefully there wasn’t too much shop talk going on.”
Post-wedding thoughts
With such an intimate wedding, and international travel to factor in, they kept the budget small. “The wedding day cost about $14,000 all up – that’s not including the costs of the whole Europe trip in general. We were lucky to have help from our families plus we hunkered down and saved as much as we could,” India says, and there’s nothing they regret spending money on.
“That said, we did agonise over small details, but on the day we were so caught up in the emotion and enjoyment of it all that we’re not totally sure we’d even have noticed if they were wrong! But they probably contributed to the special feeling, and we like to think the guests noticed them.”
Advice for eloping
If you’re considering eloping, they have some advice to share, because it’s not always as simple as you think it will be. “We would highly recommend getting a wedding planner, or someone on the ground locally who can help put everything together and do site visits.”
Their planner Natalie was exceptional. “We couldn’t have done any of it without her. She was especially integral with the legal side of things as we decided we wanted to legally get married in Malta, rather than doing the legal ceremony at home and the symbolic ceremony there which is often what people do when they elope or have destination weddings.”
They also advise including a honeymoon to an elopement abroad. “We travelled around Greece after our wedding and it was too perfect. Our goal for our wedding was to have an incredible trip that we also happened to get married in the middle of, and that’s exactly what it was.”
