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Christmas gifts for that 'faux' wholesome friend

That's hot: Paris in her cooking show. Photo / Still

We all know one. They party like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan circa 2008 every weekend, only to spend the odd Sunday afternoon capturing as much wholesome content as they possibly can – sourdough baking, houseplant propagating, vest knitting, gnocchi making – all to remind everyone via social media life dump that they are really “such a nana”.  

In the first of our festive series, this gift guide has everything your Cocaine Juicer friend who needs to make up for the weeks of parties and festivals they’re about to put their freshly detoxed bodies through.

Maison Balzac incense set, $85

Every chaotic homebody needs an elevated incense to set the vibe for their wholesome Sunday. These are made from high quality Japanese wood and smell clean and elegant, and it comes with a chic glass pebble holder. 

Made from Japanese Tabunoki wood to cleanse the air. Photo / Supplied

Mungo woven chef’s apron, $69

Now when they ‘get in the zone’ to make their bi-annual sourdough and zucchini pickle, they’ll look the part.

Wholesome Sunday attire: Mungo Chef's apron in 'WIld Yam', The Sunday Shoe in 'Velluto Oro'. Photo / Supplied

The Italian Slipper Co. Sunday Shoe, $298

Nobody needs a pair of whimsical velvet slippers to potter around the house in, but any self-described ‘nana’ would be impressed when you tell them these slippers are made by artisans in the Friuli Venezia Giulia region of Italy, from 100% cotton velvet and recycled bicycle tires. Try and find a more wholesome slipper. 

Videris ‘Pure Blossom’ High Waist Knickers, $43, and bra, $95

This cute embroidered cotton set can be the innocent antidote to your friend's collection of thotty glomesh thongs. A Penny Sage X Sphaera laundry bar, $18 would make a nice addition, everyone knows you get extra wholesome points for hand-washing your delicates.

Videris embroidered cotton knicker and bra set, Modeletto air-dry pottery kit. Photo / Supplied

Modeletto air-dry pottery kit, $79

Carving an object out of raw earth with your own two hands is a peak wholesome activity. 

Marcato pasta maker, $268

Your friend should be pretty committed to manual kitchen labour if you're gifting them a quality Italian pasta maker like this. But even if their enthusiasm for dough rolling (inevitably) wears thin, a pink one will look very cute gathering dust on their counter top.

For the chic Pasta Granny in your life. Photo / Supplied

Happy Hour Hard Kombucha, $24

Getting lit while feeding your gut microbiome? You don't get much more faux wholesome than that.

Two birds, one booch. Photo / Supplied

Carter’s Cookbook, $60 

Nothing comes as close to true wholesome as Carter Were and her golden-haired cherubs foraging for herbs in their Byron Bay garden. But you can try, by making everything in her cookbook. If your friend already owns the first edition, order them the second one, $65

The wholesome cook's bible. Photo / @werebros

Little Bird cold presses juice box, $49

This will help your friend ‘cleanse their system’ of the unholy amount of alcoholic kombucha they have consumed over the summer.

Only a true wholesome grows their own beets to juice... Photo / @littlebirdorganics, supplied

Local gardening store voucher, $20 - $300

Often the best part of starting a new hobby like gardening is buying ‘the gear’ that goes with it – so with a voucher you won’t be taking that joy away from them! 

Ensemble Cherry on Top puzzle, $45

The perfect (and fun!) gift to help get them started on the ‘digital detox’ they keep going on about (that they will post all over social media afterwards).

Puzzling and blushing = très wholesome. Photo / Supplied

Maryse Mineral Tint, $58

Nothing says you’re healthy and wholesome like a dewy flush to the cheeks and lips. Made in Aotearoa, Maryse has recently extended their range of tints so there’s a flattering shade for everyone.

Birkenstock Super Birki Clogs, $180

The perfect shoe for gathering herbs, or wine. Photo / Supplied

Covered clogs are a wannabe pasta granny staple - comfy and sturdy enough to tend to weeds in the herb garden, chic enough to be seen wearing up to the Bottle'O for a cheeky Pét-Nat

Creativity, evocative visual storytelling and good journalism come at a price. Support our work and join the Ensemble membership program
No items found.
That's hot: Paris in her cooking show. Photo / Still

We all know one. They party like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan circa 2008 every weekend, only to spend the odd Sunday afternoon capturing as much wholesome content as they possibly can – sourdough baking, houseplant propagating, vest knitting, gnocchi making – all to remind everyone via social media life dump that they are really “such a nana”.  

In the first of our festive series, this gift guide has everything your Cocaine Juicer friend who needs to make up for the weeks of parties and festivals they’re about to put their freshly detoxed bodies through.

Maison Balzac incense set, $85

Every chaotic homebody needs an elevated incense to set the vibe for their wholesome Sunday. These are made from high quality Japanese wood and smell clean and elegant, and it comes with a chic glass pebble holder. 

Made from Japanese Tabunoki wood to cleanse the air. Photo / Supplied

Mungo woven chef’s apron, $69

Now when they ‘get in the zone’ to make their bi-annual sourdough and zucchini pickle, they’ll look the part.

Wholesome Sunday attire: Mungo Chef's apron in 'WIld Yam', The Sunday Shoe in 'Velluto Oro'. Photo / Supplied

The Italian Slipper Co. Sunday Shoe, $298

Nobody needs a pair of whimsical velvet slippers to potter around the house in, but any self-described ‘nana’ would be impressed when you tell them these slippers are made by artisans in the Friuli Venezia Giulia region of Italy, from 100% cotton velvet and recycled bicycle tires. Try and find a more wholesome slipper. 

Videris ‘Pure Blossom’ High Waist Knickers, $43, and bra, $95

This cute embroidered cotton set can be the innocent antidote to your friend's collection of thotty glomesh thongs. A Penny Sage X Sphaera laundry bar, $18 would make a nice addition, everyone knows you get extra wholesome points for hand-washing your delicates.

Videris embroidered cotton knicker and bra set, Modeletto air-dry pottery kit. Photo / Supplied

Modeletto air-dry pottery kit, $79

Carving an object out of raw earth with your own two hands is a peak wholesome activity. 

Marcato pasta maker, $268

Your friend should be pretty committed to manual kitchen labour if you're gifting them a quality Italian pasta maker like this. But even if their enthusiasm for dough rolling (inevitably) wears thin, a pink one will look very cute gathering dust on their counter top.

For the chic Pasta Granny in your life. Photo / Supplied

Happy Hour Hard Kombucha, $24

Getting lit while feeding your gut microbiome? You don't get much more faux wholesome than that.

Two birds, one booch. Photo / Supplied

Carter’s Cookbook, $60 

Nothing comes as close to true wholesome as Carter Were and her golden-haired cherubs foraging for herbs in their Byron Bay garden. But you can try, by making everything in her cookbook. If your friend already owns the first edition, order them the second one, $65

The wholesome cook's bible. Photo / @werebros

Little Bird cold presses juice box, $49

This will help your friend ‘cleanse their system’ of the unholy amount of alcoholic kombucha they have consumed over the summer.

Only a true wholesome grows their own beets to juice... Photo / @littlebirdorganics, supplied

Local gardening store voucher, $20 - $300

Often the best part of starting a new hobby like gardening is buying ‘the gear’ that goes with it – so with a voucher you won’t be taking that joy away from them! 

Ensemble Cherry on Top puzzle, $45

The perfect (and fun!) gift to help get them started on the ‘digital detox’ they keep going on about (that they will post all over social media afterwards).

Puzzling and blushing = très wholesome. Photo / Supplied

Maryse Mineral Tint, $58

Nothing says you’re healthy and wholesome like a dewy flush to the cheeks and lips. Made in Aotearoa, Maryse has recently extended their range of tints so there’s a flattering shade for everyone.

Birkenstock Super Birki Clogs, $180

The perfect shoe for gathering herbs, or wine. Photo / Supplied

Covered clogs are a wannabe pasta granny staple - comfy and sturdy enough to tend to weeds in the herb garden, chic enough to be seen wearing up to the Bottle'O for a cheeky Pét-Nat

Creativity, evocative visual storytelling and good journalism come at a price. Support our work and join the Ensemble membership program
No items found.

Christmas gifts for that 'faux' wholesome friend

That's hot: Paris in her cooking show. Photo / Still

We all know one. They party like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan circa 2008 every weekend, only to spend the odd Sunday afternoon capturing as much wholesome content as they possibly can – sourdough baking, houseplant propagating, vest knitting, gnocchi making – all to remind everyone via social media life dump that they are really “such a nana”.  

In the first of our festive series, this gift guide has everything your Cocaine Juicer friend who needs to make up for the weeks of parties and festivals they’re about to put their freshly detoxed bodies through.

Maison Balzac incense set, $85

Every chaotic homebody needs an elevated incense to set the vibe for their wholesome Sunday. These are made from high quality Japanese wood and smell clean and elegant, and it comes with a chic glass pebble holder. 

Made from Japanese Tabunoki wood to cleanse the air. Photo / Supplied

Mungo woven chef’s apron, $69

Now when they ‘get in the zone’ to make their bi-annual sourdough and zucchini pickle, they’ll look the part.

Wholesome Sunday attire: Mungo Chef's apron in 'WIld Yam', The Sunday Shoe in 'Velluto Oro'. Photo / Supplied

The Italian Slipper Co. Sunday Shoe, $298

Nobody needs a pair of whimsical velvet slippers to potter around the house in, but any self-described ‘nana’ would be impressed when you tell them these slippers are made by artisans in the Friuli Venezia Giulia region of Italy, from 100% cotton velvet and recycled bicycle tires. Try and find a more wholesome slipper. 

Videris ‘Pure Blossom’ High Waist Knickers, $43, and bra, $95

This cute embroidered cotton set can be the innocent antidote to your friend's collection of thotty glomesh thongs. A Penny Sage X Sphaera laundry bar, $18 would make a nice addition, everyone knows you get extra wholesome points for hand-washing your delicates.

Videris embroidered cotton knicker and bra set, Modeletto air-dry pottery kit. Photo / Supplied

Modeletto air-dry pottery kit, $79

Carving an object out of raw earth with your own two hands is a peak wholesome activity. 

Marcato pasta maker, $268

Your friend should be pretty committed to manual kitchen labour if you're gifting them a quality Italian pasta maker like this. But even if their enthusiasm for dough rolling (inevitably) wears thin, a pink one will look very cute gathering dust on their counter top.

For the chic Pasta Granny in your life. Photo / Supplied

Happy Hour Hard Kombucha, $24

Getting lit while feeding your gut microbiome? You don't get much more faux wholesome than that.

Two birds, one booch. Photo / Supplied

Carter’s Cookbook, $60 

Nothing comes as close to true wholesome as Carter Were and her golden-haired cherubs foraging for herbs in their Byron Bay garden. But you can try, by making everything in her cookbook. If your friend already owns the first edition, order them the second one, $65

The wholesome cook's bible. Photo / @werebros

Little Bird cold presses juice box, $49

This will help your friend ‘cleanse their system’ of the unholy amount of alcoholic kombucha they have consumed over the summer.

Only a true wholesome grows their own beets to juice... Photo / @littlebirdorganics, supplied

Local gardening store voucher, $20 - $300

Often the best part of starting a new hobby like gardening is buying ‘the gear’ that goes with it – so with a voucher you won’t be taking that joy away from them! 

Ensemble Cherry on Top puzzle, $45

The perfect (and fun!) gift to help get them started on the ‘digital detox’ they keep going on about (that they will post all over social media afterwards).

Puzzling and blushing = très wholesome. Photo / Supplied

Maryse Mineral Tint, $58

Nothing says you’re healthy and wholesome like a dewy flush to the cheeks and lips. Made in Aotearoa, Maryse has recently extended their range of tints so there’s a flattering shade for everyone.

Birkenstock Super Birki Clogs, $180

The perfect shoe for gathering herbs, or wine. Photo / Supplied

Covered clogs are a wannabe pasta granny staple - comfy and sturdy enough to tend to weeds in the herb garden, chic enough to be seen wearing up to the Bottle'O for a cheeky Pét-Nat

No items found.
Creativity, evocative visual storytelling and good journalism come at a price. Support our work and join the Ensemble membership program

Christmas gifts for that 'faux' wholesome friend

That's hot: Paris in her cooking show. Photo / Still

We all know one. They party like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan circa 2008 every weekend, only to spend the odd Sunday afternoon capturing as much wholesome content as they possibly can – sourdough baking, houseplant propagating, vest knitting, gnocchi making – all to remind everyone via social media life dump that they are really “such a nana”.  

In the first of our festive series, this gift guide has everything your Cocaine Juicer friend who needs to make up for the weeks of parties and festivals they’re about to put their freshly detoxed bodies through.

Maison Balzac incense set, $85

Every chaotic homebody needs an elevated incense to set the vibe for their wholesome Sunday. These are made from high quality Japanese wood and smell clean and elegant, and it comes with a chic glass pebble holder. 

Made from Japanese Tabunoki wood to cleanse the air. Photo / Supplied

Mungo woven chef’s apron, $69

Now when they ‘get in the zone’ to make their bi-annual sourdough and zucchini pickle, they’ll look the part.

Wholesome Sunday attire: Mungo Chef's apron in 'WIld Yam', The Sunday Shoe in 'Velluto Oro'. Photo / Supplied

The Italian Slipper Co. Sunday Shoe, $298

Nobody needs a pair of whimsical velvet slippers to potter around the house in, but any self-described ‘nana’ would be impressed when you tell them these slippers are made by artisans in the Friuli Venezia Giulia region of Italy, from 100% cotton velvet and recycled bicycle tires. Try and find a more wholesome slipper. 

Videris ‘Pure Blossom’ High Waist Knickers, $43, and bra, $95

This cute embroidered cotton set can be the innocent antidote to your friend's collection of thotty glomesh thongs. A Penny Sage X Sphaera laundry bar, $18 would make a nice addition, everyone knows you get extra wholesome points for hand-washing your delicates.

Videris embroidered cotton knicker and bra set, Modeletto air-dry pottery kit. Photo / Supplied

Modeletto air-dry pottery kit, $79

Carving an object out of raw earth with your own two hands is a peak wholesome activity. 

Marcato pasta maker, $268

Your friend should be pretty committed to manual kitchen labour if you're gifting them a quality Italian pasta maker like this. But even if their enthusiasm for dough rolling (inevitably) wears thin, a pink one will look very cute gathering dust on their counter top.

For the chic Pasta Granny in your life. Photo / Supplied

Happy Hour Hard Kombucha, $24

Getting lit while feeding your gut microbiome? You don't get much more faux wholesome than that.

Two birds, one booch. Photo / Supplied

Carter’s Cookbook, $60 

Nothing comes as close to true wholesome as Carter Were and her golden-haired cherubs foraging for herbs in their Byron Bay garden. But you can try, by making everything in her cookbook. If your friend already owns the first edition, order them the second one, $65

The wholesome cook's bible. Photo / @werebros

Little Bird cold presses juice box, $49

This will help your friend ‘cleanse their system’ of the unholy amount of alcoholic kombucha they have consumed over the summer.

Only a true wholesome grows their own beets to juice... Photo / @littlebirdorganics, supplied

Local gardening store voucher, $20 - $300

Often the best part of starting a new hobby like gardening is buying ‘the gear’ that goes with it – so with a voucher you won’t be taking that joy away from them! 

Ensemble Cherry on Top puzzle, $45

The perfect (and fun!) gift to help get them started on the ‘digital detox’ they keep going on about (that they will post all over social media afterwards).

Puzzling and blushing = très wholesome. Photo / Supplied

Maryse Mineral Tint, $58

Nothing says you’re healthy and wholesome like a dewy flush to the cheeks and lips. Made in Aotearoa, Maryse has recently extended their range of tints so there’s a flattering shade for everyone.

Birkenstock Super Birki Clogs, $180

The perfect shoe for gathering herbs, or wine. Photo / Supplied

Covered clogs are a wannabe pasta granny staple - comfy and sturdy enough to tend to weeds in the herb garden, chic enough to be seen wearing up to the Bottle'O for a cheeky Pét-Nat

Creativity, evocative visual storytelling and good journalism come at a price. Support our work and join the Ensemble membership program
No items found.
That's hot: Paris in her cooking show. Photo / Still

We all know one. They party like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan circa 2008 every weekend, only to spend the odd Sunday afternoon capturing as much wholesome content as they possibly can – sourdough baking, houseplant propagating, vest knitting, gnocchi making – all to remind everyone via social media life dump that they are really “such a nana”.  

In the first of our festive series, this gift guide has everything your Cocaine Juicer friend who needs to make up for the weeks of parties and festivals they’re about to put their freshly detoxed bodies through.

Maison Balzac incense set, $85

Every chaotic homebody needs an elevated incense to set the vibe for their wholesome Sunday. These are made from high quality Japanese wood and smell clean and elegant, and it comes with a chic glass pebble holder. 

Made from Japanese Tabunoki wood to cleanse the air. Photo / Supplied

Mungo woven chef’s apron, $69

Now when they ‘get in the zone’ to make their bi-annual sourdough and zucchini pickle, they’ll look the part.

Wholesome Sunday attire: Mungo Chef's apron in 'WIld Yam', The Sunday Shoe in 'Velluto Oro'. Photo / Supplied

The Italian Slipper Co. Sunday Shoe, $298

Nobody needs a pair of whimsical velvet slippers to potter around the house in, but any self-described ‘nana’ would be impressed when you tell them these slippers are made by artisans in the Friuli Venezia Giulia region of Italy, from 100% cotton velvet and recycled bicycle tires. Try and find a more wholesome slipper. 

Videris ‘Pure Blossom’ High Waist Knickers, $43, and bra, $95

This cute embroidered cotton set can be the innocent antidote to your friend's collection of thotty glomesh thongs. A Penny Sage X Sphaera laundry bar, $18 would make a nice addition, everyone knows you get extra wholesome points for hand-washing your delicates.

Videris embroidered cotton knicker and bra set, Modeletto air-dry pottery kit. Photo / Supplied

Modeletto air-dry pottery kit, $79

Carving an object out of raw earth with your own two hands is a peak wholesome activity. 

Marcato pasta maker, $268

Your friend should be pretty committed to manual kitchen labour if you're gifting them a quality Italian pasta maker like this. But even if their enthusiasm for dough rolling (inevitably) wears thin, a pink one will look very cute gathering dust on their counter top.

For the chic Pasta Granny in your life. Photo / Supplied

Happy Hour Hard Kombucha, $24

Getting lit while feeding your gut microbiome? You don't get much more faux wholesome than that.

Two birds, one booch. Photo / Supplied

Carter’s Cookbook, $60 

Nothing comes as close to true wholesome as Carter Were and her golden-haired cherubs foraging for herbs in their Byron Bay garden. But you can try, by making everything in her cookbook. If your friend already owns the first edition, order them the second one, $65

The wholesome cook's bible. Photo / @werebros

Little Bird cold presses juice box, $49

This will help your friend ‘cleanse their system’ of the unholy amount of alcoholic kombucha they have consumed over the summer.

Only a true wholesome grows their own beets to juice... Photo / @littlebirdorganics, supplied

Local gardening store voucher, $20 - $300

Often the best part of starting a new hobby like gardening is buying ‘the gear’ that goes with it – so with a voucher you won’t be taking that joy away from them! 

Ensemble Cherry on Top puzzle, $45

The perfect (and fun!) gift to help get them started on the ‘digital detox’ they keep going on about (that they will post all over social media afterwards).

Puzzling and blushing = très wholesome. Photo / Supplied

Maryse Mineral Tint, $58

Nothing says you’re healthy and wholesome like a dewy flush to the cheeks and lips. Made in Aotearoa, Maryse has recently extended their range of tints so there’s a flattering shade for everyone.

Birkenstock Super Birki Clogs, $180

The perfect shoe for gathering herbs, or wine. Photo / Supplied

Covered clogs are a wannabe pasta granny staple - comfy and sturdy enough to tend to weeds in the herb garden, chic enough to be seen wearing up to the Bottle'O for a cheeky Pét-Nat

No items found.
Creativity, evocative visual storytelling and good journalism come at a price. Support our work and join the Ensemble membership program

Christmas gifts for that 'faux' wholesome friend

That's hot: Paris in her cooking show. Photo / Still

We all know one. They party like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan circa 2008 every weekend, only to spend the odd Sunday afternoon capturing as much wholesome content as they possibly can – sourdough baking, houseplant propagating, vest knitting, gnocchi making – all to remind everyone via social media life dump that they are really “such a nana”.  

In the first of our festive series, this gift guide has everything your Cocaine Juicer friend who needs to make up for the weeks of parties and festivals they’re about to put their freshly detoxed bodies through.

Maison Balzac incense set, $85

Every chaotic homebody needs an elevated incense to set the vibe for their wholesome Sunday. These are made from high quality Japanese wood and smell clean and elegant, and it comes with a chic glass pebble holder. 

Made from Japanese Tabunoki wood to cleanse the air. Photo / Supplied

Mungo woven chef’s apron, $69

Now when they ‘get in the zone’ to make their bi-annual sourdough and zucchini pickle, they’ll look the part.

Wholesome Sunday attire: Mungo Chef's apron in 'WIld Yam', The Sunday Shoe in 'Velluto Oro'. Photo / Supplied

The Italian Slipper Co. Sunday Shoe, $298

Nobody needs a pair of whimsical velvet slippers to potter around the house in, but any self-described ‘nana’ would be impressed when you tell them these slippers are made by artisans in the Friuli Venezia Giulia region of Italy, from 100% cotton velvet and recycled bicycle tires. Try and find a more wholesome slipper. 

Videris ‘Pure Blossom’ High Waist Knickers, $43, and bra, $95

This cute embroidered cotton set can be the innocent antidote to your friend's collection of thotty glomesh thongs. A Penny Sage X Sphaera laundry bar, $18 would make a nice addition, everyone knows you get extra wholesome points for hand-washing your delicates.

Videris embroidered cotton knicker and bra set, Modeletto air-dry pottery kit. Photo / Supplied

Modeletto air-dry pottery kit, $79

Carving an object out of raw earth with your own two hands is a peak wholesome activity. 

Marcato pasta maker, $268

Your friend should be pretty committed to manual kitchen labour if you're gifting them a quality Italian pasta maker like this. But even if their enthusiasm for dough rolling (inevitably) wears thin, a pink one will look very cute gathering dust on their counter top.

For the chic Pasta Granny in your life. Photo / Supplied

Happy Hour Hard Kombucha, $24

Getting lit while feeding your gut microbiome? You don't get much more faux wholesome than that.

Two birds, one booch. Photo / Supplied

Carter’s Cookbook, $60 

Nothing comes as close to true wholesome as Carter Were and her golden-haired cherubs foraging for herbs in their Byron Bay garden. But you can try, by making everything in her cookbook. If your friend already owns the first edition, order them the second one, $65

The wholesome cook's bible. Photo / @werebros

Little Bird cold presses juice box, $49

This will help your friend ‘cleanse their system’ of the unholy amount of alcoholic kombucha they have consumed over the summer.

Only a true wholesome grows their own beets to juice... Photo / @littlebirdorganics, supplied

Local gardening store voucher, $20 - $300

Often the best part of starting a new hobby like gardening is buying ‘the gear’ that goes with it – so with a voucher you won’t be taking that joy away from them! 

Ensemble Cherry on Top puzzle, $45

The perfect (and fun!) gift to help get them started on the ‘digital detox’ they keep going on about (that they will post all over social media afterwards).

Puzzling and blushing = très wholesome. Photo / Supplied

Maryse Mineral Tint, $58

Nothing says you’re healthy and wholesome like a dewy flush to the cheeks and lips. Made in Aotearoa, Maryse has recently extended their range of tints so there’s a flattering shade for everyone.

Birkenstock Super Birki Clogs, $180

The perfect shoe for gathering herbs, or wine. Photo / Supplied

Covered clogs are a wannabe pasta granny staple - comfy and sturdy enough to tend to weeds in the herb garden, chic enough to be seen wearing up to the Bottle'O for a cheeky Pét-Nat

Creativity, evocative visual storytelling and good journalism come at a price. Support our work and join the Ensemble membership program
No items found.